The point of no return

I’ve heard that the point of no return is the point in a mission where it no longer makes sense to go back to the beginning. It’s too costly or too late or impossible to go back.

That’s life with God.

You start by asking Him to reveal Himself, by asking Him to reveal more of you to yourself. You take a few steps in faith to test if He is real, to see if He is who He says He is. And soon He starts changing you and the circumstances around you. Soon after, He starts revealing His mysteries to you, to the point where you can no longer see things the way you once saw them.

And before you know it, it’s too late — too late to ever turn back again.

Passing the point of no return means giving up the idea that you will ever live a “normal” life. It means choosing never to date because you believe God has a specific person lined up for you. It means taking up guitar after 30 and learning a new language on a whim rather than finding a job because you have an inkling that it makes a lot more sense in a roundabout way. It means staking your entire future on a handful of prophetic words that have not yet come to pass, and ignoring conventional wisdom that recommends you do the exact opposite.

 

I look at my career path, at the philosophy I’ve chosen, at the people I’ve partnered with in my life — and I realize that I’m completely wrecked from the possibility of ever being understood by the vast majority of my peers, let alone ever succeeding in the world the way the world does things.

Even if all the circumstances around me seem to indicate that what I’m doing isn’t working out — I’d probably die trying to prove them wrong.

I might be crazy.

I think I’ve gone a little bit too far into the deep end to ever have hope of making it back the way I came in. (Deep is better than shallow anyway, don’t you agree?)

I think I might have drank the kool-aid.

Some might say that it’s not too late — I can start over, make another go of it, give up these absurd plans.

But I disagree. Even if I’m wrong, I’ve already passed the point of no return.

There’s no way I’m ever going back.

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